


The Pain of Friendship

by CherryEmbly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Actually a Virgin Kuroo, Always Shouts Hinata, Angst, Bad At Volleyball Lev, Broken Heart, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Lazy Kenma, Love, M/M, Unrequited Love, Way Down the Road, maybe not, maybe smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:30:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8191961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryEmbly/pseuds/CherryEmbly
Summary: He’d liked Kenma since they were little boys, but he always kept his composure for the sake of the guy. He hadn’t had his first kiss yet or lost his virginity. For him, if it wasn’t Kenma, he wasn’t interested.  So how dare Kenma go out for, one,

  fucking,
night,with that idiotic middle blocker from Karasuno and show up for practice the next day with hickies all over his neck?





	1. That Idiotic Middle Blocker

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to my Tumblr bud Selly, who presented me with the very specific request of: 
> 
> **Can you please do another Kenma/Kuroo, but with lots of angst? Like maybe they like each other, but other people are getting in the way like Hinata or Tsukki? Also, can you not make Kuroo a slut? He's my baby. Maybe he's actually a virgin or something, but Kenma thinks he's not and is offended? I dunno. You write so well and I love the way you write angst. ALL THE ANGST**
> 
> I don't know what it is with you kids and the angst, but ask and you shall receive I suppose. 
> 
> Tumblr: @thejazthegr8 if you'd like to make a request of your own, my beauties. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma went out the night prior with Hinata, that much Kuroo knew. What he didn't know was, what transpired, that resulted in several dark, love marks all over Kenma's body.

Kuroo was fucking pissed. 

He’d liked Kenma since they were little boys, but he always kept his composure for the sake of the guy. Every single time Kenma slept over and despite the fact that Kuroo would give him the bed, he’d always end up on the floor snuggled next to him. Every single time Kenma would start changing for practice, but get distracted halfway through and just walk around the club room half naked. Every time they would go out on the weekends and he would sit so close to Kuroo on the train, that he could smell his subtle cologne mixed with the overwhelming scent of volleyballs, or even when he’d spill on himself most days and find himself dressed delectably in one of Kuroo’s shirts or sweaters. 

Kuroo always abstained; always tucked away his emotions because Kenma was more important to him than school, or volleyball, or even himself, and he knew that the smallest thing could kill it and he could lose the man he loved so much. 

Kenma had made no mention of being gay or liking men; it’s not the kind of thing that’s widely accepted, so Kuroo kept it to himself. He knew, the following year, when they were parted by university that, though it would kill Kuroo, it’d be easier to live. He’d made more than one sacrifice for the timid setter, had fallen on his sword multiple times, he’d even refrained from being with anyone. He hadn’t had his first kiss yet or lost his virginity. It wasn't as though the opportunity hadn't presented itself, both men and women, but if it wasn’t Kenma, Kuroo simply wasn’t interested. 

So how dare Kenma go out for, 

one,

fucking,

night,

with that idiotic middle blocker from Karasuno and show up for practice the next day with hickies all over his neck? 

“Kuroo, you’re going to--” 

There was a hollow snap and Kuroo looked up at Yaku and then down at his own hands, where the pencil he was holding had broken from his rage. 

“Uhhh, oh…” Kuroo sighed, handing the splintered pieces over. “Sorry.” 

“What’s wrong?” Yaku asked parentally, as Yaku does. 

Kuroo watched as Kenma tried repeatedly to toss to Lev, who kept jumping too late, swinging too soon, and running into the net. Every time he extended fully to set the ball, his t-shirt would billow around his neck and hair would whip about his head, giving Kuroo a clear view of the dark bruises dotted along Kenma’s neck, jawline, and chin. 

“Kuroo!” Yaku yelped. 

The sound of ripping snapped Kuroo back to reality. He looked down at the clipboard in his hand to find that, that time in his fury, he’d ripped the plays he and Yaku had just spent twenty minutes on, in half.

Kuroo’s cheeks pinked a little. He was so angry, he couldn’t even control himself. 

“Sorry, I’ll re-write these,” Kuroo mumbled. 

Yaku sighed, gently pulling the clipboard from his hands. “Don’t worry, I got it.” Yaku pointed at something in Kuroo’s hands; the other half of the plays. 

Kuroo jumped and handed them over. “Sorry, Yaku.” 

“What’s wrong with you?” Yaku asked again. 

Kuroo turned his back to the net so he wouldn’t get distracted and angry again. “Nothing, I just… Stress.” 

“I know what you mean. Sensei’s lessons have been kicking my ass lately, and career training is stressful. I still haven’t picked a university. You have scholarship offers though right?” Yaku asked. 

The squeak of shoes and hitting of volleyballs around him, was a calming sound to Kuroo; Volleyball always calmed him down. Without the vision of any distracting setters, his anger was abating. 

“Kuroo?” 

“Huh? Oh, yeah. A few different places. I still have to choose though,” Kuroo replied to Yaku’s question. 

“Indecisive?” Yaku asked. 

“Yeah, I guess you could say that’s it…” Kuroo responded. He’d been planning to ask Kenma which he should take. One of the schools was in Tokyo, but the other two, including the one with the better volleyball team, were both pretty far away. 

“Well, if you want my advice, I’d pick whichever place has the best volleyball team. A player like you needs to go somewhere where he can flex his muscle,” Yaku said. “Don’t worry, you’ll figure something out.” 

Always the supportive, Yaku. “Thanks,” Kuroo replied. 

“Kuro.” 

Kuroo turned and Kenma was standing behind him with a look of disdain on his face. His heart raced manically as he looked down at the setter, and he did his best to keep his anger pressed down as he noticed the dark spots seemed to continue past Kenma’s neckline, towards his chest. 

Just how far had they gone? 

“What’s up?” Kuroo asked. 

“I’m going to kill him,” Kenma murmured back plainly. 

“KENMA-SAN! I’M SORRY!” Lev shouted from the court. 

Kuroo looked up at the skyscraper, holding the ball out desperately to try and coax the setter back, but a look back down at Kenma’s pleading and desperate face let Kuroo know it was in everyone’s best interest to separate the pair for a while. 

Kuroo stuck out his hand and ruffled Kenma’s hair. “Don’t kill him. I’ll force him on Yamamoto for a while.” 

Yamamoto whipped his head around from where he was practicing receives with Inuoka. “No, please!” 

“Go,” Kuroo ordered. 

“But I--” 

“Go!” Kuroo demanded louder. 

Yamamoto dejectedly threw the ball to Inuoka and walked over to Lev, where he smacked him on the arm. 

Lev whimpered. “Why did you hit me?” 

“Because I hate you,” Yamamoto growled. 

“Huh!? Don’t hate me Yamamoto-Senpai!” Lev begged. 

“Better?” Kuroo asked Kenma, and Kenma let out a sigh of relief as confirmation. “Come set for me instead.” 

Kenma smiled a little then and it brought goosebumps to Kuroo’s skin. “Okay.” 

It seemed like a good idea at first. Practicing spikes with Kenma was something that always seemed to please them both, but standing so close, Kuroo had no trouble seeing the sheer number of hickies as well as the fact that there was, indeed, a few situated just above the hem of Kenma’s shorts. 

The fierce anger in Kuroo’s stomach began burning again, and in no time at all he was missing spikes and not doing much better than Lev was before him. On his fifth or sixth missed spike he dropped to the court, doubling over with his hands on his knees and swore under his breath. He was no good. His entire mood was shot. 

“Is everything okay, Kuro?” Kenma asked. “You’re weird today.” 

“I’m fine, I just…” Kuroo looked up into Kenma’s golden eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry,” he stood up straight, “I’m not feeling well.” He looked over at Kai. “Hey, Nobu, can you take over for today. I think I’m gonna head home.” 

Kai walked over. “Sure. Everything okay? Coach is gonna flip out if you leave early.” 

“I don’t feel well,” Kuroo lied. 

Kai winced. “Huh!? You can’t get sick so close to nationals.”

“Relax, it’s probably nothing. I’m gonna go get some food and rest and I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning,” Kuroo said. 

He gave Kenma one final look and then walked around he and Kai and out of the gym. He entered the club room and leaned back against the door, breathing deeply as he did so. He didn’t entirely want to admit that it was having the effect it was, but, though Kuroo had said he was going home to eat and sleep, he didn’t expect either activity would come easily to him. He didn’t want to do anything. 

Well that wasn’t true. 

Images of him shoving a particular ginger middle blocker into a garbage can, or throwing him over the edge of a cliff, danced through his head, but he couldn’t rightfully do those things. 

So what was he going to do? 

The club room door pushed against his back lightly. 

“Ow,” murmured from the other side of the door and the familiar plain voice made Kuroo’s throat burn. 

He stepped forward and opened the club room door and Kenma was standing there looking up at him. “What are you doing here? Practice isn’t over yet,” Kuroo scolded the notorious practice-skipper. 

Kenma walked around him into the club room. “I told them I needed to come take care of you.” He walked over to the locker where his clothes and bag were and started changing. “Besides, I only play because you want me to, so if you’re not there, there’s no reason for me to be there.” 

Kuroo closed his eyes in frustration. “That’s stupid. What are you going to do next year?”

Kenma didn’t answer. He changed his clothes, grabbed his bag and then sat down in a nearby chair, pulled out his phone, and half a minute later, Kuroo could hear the sounds of Kenma’s current mobile game of choice. Kuroo closed the club room door and walked over to his locker and followed suit, changing his clothes, packing his bag and then walked over to Kenma and nudged him. 

“Ready?” Kuroo asked. 

Kenma looked up, blinking a few times plainly, and then put his phone away and stood up. Kuroo opened the club door and Kenma led out and Kuroo closed the door behind them. 

“I just have to bring the keys to Kai,” Kuroo said. 

They walked past the gym and Kuroo left Kenma standing on the main sidewalk outside to go in. Kai was busy leading a drill, but Yamamoto was standing nearby resting, no doubt granted refuge after having dealt with Lev. 

“Oi, Yamamoto,” Kuroo called over. Yamamoto walked over with a sly smile on his face and Kuroo handed him the keys. “Can you give these to Kai for me? Don’t forget.” 

“Anything you say, Captain. Though I gotta say, it’s a little cheap to ditch practice to go make-out with Kenma,” Yamamoto huffed. 

Kuroo’s heart bashed; he wished. “What?” 

“Come on, everyone can see the hickies, man. Next time, leave them somewhere more subtle,” Yamamoto took the keys and clinked them on Kuroo’s head. Kuroo glared at Yamamoto. “What?”

“It wasn’t me,” Kuroo growled. 

Yamamoto laughed. “Dude, we’re not stupid.” Kuroo didn’t ease his leer eventually Yamamoto noticed the severity of it and backed away. “Uh, sorry. I’ll give the keys to Kai.” 

Kuroo left the gym, rubbing his stomach. Maybe if he rubbed hard enough it would erase the frustrating pain that he felt. When he looked up, the image made him feel murderous rage and crushing depression simultaneously. Kenma was rubbing the lowest part of his back slowly, while also, very clearly, smiling.


	2. Feeling Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo is upset to learn a practice match against Karasuno has been scheduled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Looks at water.* 
> 
> *Looks at bucket of mud.* 
> 
> *Kicks into water.*

“You’re feeling better then, Kuroo?” Coach Nekomata asked. 

Kuroo’s teammates were all seated around him near the gym door of the court, listening to Coach Nekomata make his morning announcements. 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Kuroo said. 

“Okay, that’s it then,” Nekomata groaned, pulling up his waistband, only for the pants to slump back down again around his engorged stomach. 

“Uh, Sensei, the game,” Naoi huffed. 

“Oh, yeah! Thank you, Manabu.” Nekomata patted the man’s back gently. “This weekend we’ll be visited by the Karasuno Volleyball Club. We’ll be playing against them in, what I can only assume, will be a series of matches, thanks to their energetic Number 10.” Next to Kuroo, Kenma snickered quietly and Kuroo eyed him angrily before rolling his eyes and looking away. “Something wrong, Captain?” 

Kuroo looked up and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kenma watching him closely. “N-No. I like playing against Karasuno.” 

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Nekomata asked. “We’re gonna need you this weekend.” 

“I’m fine,” Kuroo said. He did have a headache, but what else was new?

Nekomata eyed him, unconvinced, but eventually went back to addressing the group as a whole. “Anyway, make sure if you’re feeling uneasy about anything that you solidify it before then. Every time we meet Karasuno, they’ve gotten better; slack off, and they’ll wash us away. Lev!” Nekomata shouted. “How are your spikes?” 

“Good!” Lev yelped. 

“Kenma?” Nekomata asked. 

Kenma looked over at Lev and then up at Nekomata and Kuroo could hear his thought process as clearly as if he were speaking out loud. If he said they were bad he’d be stuck working with him for the rest of the week, but if he said they were good he’d be lying and they wouldn’t get better. 

Kenma sighed disdainfully. “They could use some work.” 

“Proud of you,” Kuroo responded quietly and Kenma dropped his head to his knees. 

“Right then, the two of you pair up and work on it today. I’m not putting you in if you suck, Lev,” Nekomata huffed. 

“Yes sir,” Lev replied. 

“Yeah…” Kenma grumbled. 

“Okay, I think that’s it?” Nekomata looked to Manabu for confirmation and he nodded. “Good then, let’s get going.” 

Everyone stood up and broke for their individual positions, except for Kuroo who remained seated, not unaware of the fact that he felt short on breath. 

“Kuro?” 

Kuroo could barely be around Kenma knowing he’d been with someone else, how on earth was he supposed to be around that someone else?

“Kuro?”

He didn’t think he’d be able to control his anger. The second he saw that tiny moron, Kuroo would want to wring his neck for even looking at Kenma. What if he had marks too? What if he and Kenma were affectionate in front of him? He’d definitely punch Hinata then. 

“Kuro…” 

Not that that was fair or anything. Kenma is, after all, a single man who can do whatever he wants, as is Hinata. All of Kuroo’s anger stems from the fact that he’d always kept his hands off Kenma for fear of ruining their friendship, but now he’s just with someone. Kuroo hadn’t thought that far ahead. Though as wonderful as he was, Kenma was bound to find someone at some point. Was it just difficult because the fact that it was another man brings it too close? 

“Kuro.” 

He couldn’t stand the fact that someone else had gotten to kiss Kenma, and hold him and touch him. Worse! What if they’d had sex? Did someone else get to take Kenma’s virginity from him? 

“Kuro!” 

Kuroo felt a hand on his head as it turned his head and tilted it back so Kuroo could look up. Kenma was looking down at him with concern and several of his teammates were standing around staring as well. 

“W-What?” Kuroo nearly whispered. 

“You weren't responding to me and you're breathing really hard. Are you okay?” Kenma asked. 

"I'm fine," Kuroo lied. 

With Kenma’s hand on his head and his expression of pure concern washing over him, the upset in Kuroo’s stomach came back. Kuroo’s heart was broken and he couldn’t stand it; it was making him physically ill. Before he had much grasp on what was happening, the room began to spin and blur and Kuroo could hear his head (or maybe it was his heart) pounding. 

“K-Kuro…?” 

Kuroo wavered a bit, leaning forward and then backward. Kenma dropped to his knees and put his hands on Kuroo’s shoulders. 

“Kuro? Kuro?! What’s wrong? Say something, please!” Kenma murmured. 

He sounded so worried, so desperate; almost made Kuroo hopeful. In the far recesses of his mind, he hoped Kenma cared less, it would make things much easier. A sudden chill rushed over Kuroo’s body and he wavered again, this time his head dropped and landed on Kenma’s chest. The smell of his fresh laundry detergent wafted off his shirt and swilled together with his deodorant, and of course, the smell of volleyball and assaulted Kuroo’s nose. 

“Kuro.” Kenma’s arms wrapped around him gently. 

Kuroo closed his eyes in an attempt to stifle the blinding pain in his head. He loved Kenma so much. 

So much more than himself. 

So much more than anything. 

He loved him. 

He never wanted to be apart from him. 

He didn’t want anyone else touching him. 

Kuroo peeled his eyes open and looked up at Kenma. The vision was blurry and tornadic, but it was Kenma. Kuroo smiled and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, the pain overcame him, and he blacked out.

***

Piercing pain found Kuroo first. It was in his head… no… his stomach… no… his head… His senses slowly opened up and he could hear beeping and the soft murmur of voices far from him; not in the same room. The bed he was in wasn’t comfortable, and he was arched at an odd angle. Wherever he was smelled like it had been drenched in bleach, with a weak attempt by some floral spray to diminish it, but through that overwhelming scent he did recognize a couple of others. 

The first, “Mom?” Her familiar scent of honeydew, and the unmistakable smell of their home. The other, “Kenma?” 

“We’re here, honey.” A hand touched Kuroo’s forehead gently and rubbed it. Kuroo winced and then slowly opened his eyes. 

He was in a hospital, which immediately embarrassed him. Had he really gotten so upset about Kenma that he made himself sick enough to pass out and be brought to the hospital? To his right, his mom sat, and it was her hand on his head. She smiled warmly at him and rubbed his head softly. At the end of his bed, Kenma was sitting cross-legged, on the bed, still dressed in his gym clothes from practice. Though he had his PSP in his hands, it was dropped to his lap and he was watching Kuroo worriedly. 

“What happened?” Kuroo asked. 

“You have pneumonia,” Kenma replied softly. Kuroo’s eyes widened and he looked over at his mom, who nodded a confirmation. When he looked back at Kenma his expression had turned somewhat harsh. “You told me you were fine.” 

Kuroo smiled as much as he could manage with his low energy. “Sorry about that.” 

“Oh, you’re awake.” Kuroo looked up and his dad was walking into the room, white coat fluttering around him as he moved quickly to Kuroo’s side. He stuck out a hand and touched Kuroo’s forehead. “Mmm, your fever isn’t going down.” He moved to the end of the bed and pulled a clipboard out of a box fastened to the end and flipped a few pages into the pack. He let out a low growl. “Still another couple hours before you can take another fever reducer.” 

Kuroo caught the concerned way Kenma watched Kuroo’s dad. He nudged his knee with his foot and Kenma looked over to him. “I’m fine, Kenma.” 

Kenma scowled. “I’ve heard that before.” 

Kuroo’s dad chuckled. “Really, Kenma. Pneumonia isn’t all that dangerous when handled appropriately. He’ll be uncomfortable for a couple weeks, but he’ll be fine.” 

“Come on, Kenma, let’s go find something to eat,” Kuroo’s mom stood and touched Kenma’s back gently. 

Kenma hesitated, but eventually climbed off the bed carefully and, after giving Kuroo one final look, followed his mother out of the room. 

“He hasn’t left the entire time you’ve been here,” Kuroo’s dad said, looking over his chart. 

“How long have I been here?” Kuroo asked, slightly shocked at the insinuation that it had been a while. 

“Well, it’s about,” Kuroo’s dad looked at his wristwatch, “6AM so…” 

Kuroo gasped. “Wait, seriously? I’ve been out for that long?”

“You’re pretty sick, son. What have I told you about pushing yourself too much?” his dad scolded, putting his charts away. “Athl--” 

“I know, dad. ‘Athletes have it worse. They never see it coming.’ I honestly didn’t know I was this sick though,” Kuroo explained. 

“Really?” his dad asked, arms crossed in disbelief. 

“I mean, I felt… I haven’t felt well, but I, I don’t know, I guess I thought I was just stressed out,” Kuroo said. 

“About what? School?” he asked. 

“Uh, yeah. College-prep and all that,” Kuroo said, sinking his head as far into the pillows beneath him as they would go. 

“Girl trouble?” his dad asked. 

Kuroo glared up at his dad. “You know full well that I’m not having girl trouble.” 

“I do know that full well, it was supposed to be a euphemism,” his dad replied. 

Kuroo sighed. “What was it like when you and mom split up?”

Kuroo’s dad shifted uncomfortably. “Wow.” 

“Sorry, it’s probably stupid to think that that’s what I’m going through,” Kuroo responded. “Don’t answer.” 

“That bad huh?” his dad sat down on the edge of the bed, intentionally facing the door. 

In an inadvertent burst of word vomit while arguing with his dad, Kuroo had rattled off that he liked Kenma. It was years ago, when Kuroo considered it a crush at best, but things had changed pretty drastically since then. Still, Kuroo was surprised and relieved that his dad turned out to be exceptionally progressive for a Japanese man when it came to accepting what was ultimately a coming out. He’d, of course, warned Kuroo that his life would be more difficult, but relented when Kuroo said he couldn’t control it, and promised to always support and love him. Kuroo doubted his mother would be as open, and as a result, had refrained from sharing the heavy information with her. 

“It is bad,” Kuroo said. “I think he’s seeing someone.” 

“That’s an understatement,” his dad grumbled. “Pretty bold coming to sit amongst your parents in such a… state. I thought it was you.” 

Kuroo let out a heavy and depressed sigh. “It was not.” 

“Well, sure, you didn’t have to deal with the financial burden of splitting fifteen years worth of money and stuff, annoying lawyers and custody disputes, but I wouldn’t say it’s stupid to think you feel the same emotionally. You’ve known one another for a long time and you’ve had these feelings at least half that time, but you know, I wouldn’t be a good father if I didn’t give you the whole ‘plenty of fish’ spiel,” Kuroo’s dad said. Plenty of fish? Kuroo turned his head away. He didn’t want other fish. He only wanted one fish. “Well, maybe not right now.” 

“Yeah,” Kuroo said, holding back his emotions. “Thanks.” 

“Um, excuse me.” 

Kuroo turned his head, but couldn’t see the person who’d spoken past the curtain pulled about halfway down the length of his hospital bed. He did think he recognized the voice a little bit, but it seemed damn near impossible that the person whose voice he thought it was, actually was who was there. 

“Cast out quick don’t ya?” Kuroo’s dad mumbled to him. “Hello there.” 

“I’m looking for Tetsurou Kuroo,” the deep voice said. 

Kuroo scrunched his face; it couldn’t be… 

Kuroo failed about in his bed. “Who the hell is it? This is pissing me off!” 

Heavy footsteps preceded the appearance of a certain tall, bespectacled blond. “You’re so loud, even in a place like this.” 

No way. “Tsukki?”


	3. Happy Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima has shown up, rather suddenly, to visit Kuroo in the hospital. Did he travel all the way from Miyagi to get there?

“Dad!” Kuroo barked. 

“What!?” he replied. Kuroo shook his head. “Okay, okay. I’m leaving.” 

Once he was behind Tsukishima he held up a thumb’s up and walked out. 

“I’m really, really, really, really, really, sorry,” Kuroo said. 

“Your dad is not the first person to ever ask me if I have a girlfriend in an attempt to discern my sexuality, and I anticipate, he won’t be the last,” Tsukishima commented. 

He sat in the chair at the left side of Kuroo’s bed and they existed in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. 

“So… What lame attempt is this to get out of playing against me tomorrow?” Tsukishima asked. 

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.” Kuroo faux laughed. “No, Tsukki, look at my face so you can see how funny I found that.” 

“What’d you do?” Tsukishima asked. 

“Apparently, I have pneumonia,” Kuroo replied. 

“Well done,” Tsukishima grumbled. “Now when we beat you guys, everyone’s gonna say it’s because Nekoma didn’t have their valiant captain.” 

“A four hour drive to visit me and I compliment? Maybe I’m having a stroke too,” Kuroo joked. 

Tsukishima scoffed. “I did not drive four hours to visit you, and the compliment was sarcastic.” 

“Come on now, Tsukki--” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

“You know, as well as I do, that Sendai is a long way from Tokyo,” Kuroo said. “Unless you somehow teleported here.” 

“There was a really bad storm in Sendai last night and it knocked out all the power in the area. Since we couldn’t go to school anyway, we left a day early to come here. We found out you were in the hospital so--” 

“So you still did travel some distance, of your own accord, to come visit me,” Kuroo finished the statement. 

“You flatter yourself,” Tsukishima said. 

“What is it then?” Kuroo side-eyed him. 

Tsukishima shifted in the chair. “I reacted to a human impulse to come and make sure that you weren’t dead. I have regrets.”

“Don’t,” Kuroo said, resorting to honesty, because he was plain out of energy to do anything other than be honest. “I’ve had a rough couple days. It’s good to see you.” 

Tsukishima rebalanced his glasses and cleared his throat. “Yeah. I’m glad you’re not dead.” 

Kuroo snickered. “Gee, thanks.” A realization settled over Kuroo and he couldn’t resist the impulse to ask the question he didn’t really want the answer to. “How did you know I was here?”

“Kenma told Hinata,” Tsukishima replied. 

“Oh…” Kuroo said. 

“We’re back, Tetsurou! We didn’t know if you were feeling up to eating yet, so we-- Oh, hello,” Kuroo’s mom had reentered the hospital room with Kenma behind her, but she stopped short when she saw Tsukishima. “Is this another one of your classmates?” 

Kenma walked around Kuroo’s mom and his eyes landed on Tsukishima. 

“Hey, Kenma,” Tsukishima greeted. 

“H-hi, Tsukishima,” Kenma replied. He looked to Kuroo briefly, but looked away just as fast. 

“Uh, mom, Tsukki plays for Karasuno,” Kuroo explained. 

“Oh,” his mom yelped, “the dumpster guys!” 

Kuroo chuckled. “That is correct.” 

“When Karasuno plays Nekoma, it’s called the ‘Dumpster Showdown,’” Kenma explained plainly, not returning to his seat on Kuroo’s bed, but instead finding a chair on the other side of the room to sit in. 

Kuroo looked at him and whimpered, “aw, it was funner for her to think he was a dumpster guy!” 

Tsukishima closed his eyes and rested his elbow on the edge of Kuroo’s bed rail, and his head on his hand. “‘Funner’ isn’t a word. You want ‘more fun.’” 

Kuroo turned his head slowly, bringing their faces fairly close. “Nerd,” Kuroo huffed. 

At the comment, Tsukishima let out a low chuckle, shocking Kuroo and dragging a laugh out of him as well. 

“So, Tsukishima, how long are you in town for?” Kuroo’s mom asked. 

“Just tomorrow. We’re leaving in the evening after the games,” Tsukishima responded. 

Kuroo scoffed in frustration. “That means I’m not gonna get to play with you this time.” Kuroo thought about missing out on the game, not getting to play with Tsukishima, and not getting to showboat with Hinata there and became extremely agitated. “I am angered! Move to Tokyo!” Kuroo demanded of Tsukishima. 

“And what,” Tsukishima replied in his deep voice, “play for Nekoma?” 

Kuroo raspberried as he thought about it. “Can you imagine? No one would be able to get a word in edgewise.” He sighed. “Although, our chances to play together are running thin, you know. You really should come some time without your team.” 

“Just because you’re graduating doesn’t mean we won’t see each other,” Tsukishima retorted quickly and Kuroo smiled. _That’s true I suppose. It’s not like I could go all that far from Kenma anyway…_

A phone rang and Tsukishima pulled his out of his pocket and looked down at it. “Oh, excuse me.” He stood up and started out of the room. “Don’t develop smallpox while I’m gone,” he mocked. 

“Funny, Tsukki, real funny,” Kuroo barked back. 

“Tadashi? Yeah, I’m here now.” Kuroo listed to Tsukishima talking as best he could until his voice faded from his exiting. _Tadashi. I’m pretty sure that’s the one he likes…_

Kenma stood up rather suddenly. “I should go too.” 

Kuroo did not like that. “What? Why?” 

“What do you mean ‘why?’ He’s got school, you know,” his mother answered. 

“Oh…” I guess that’s a good enough reason. “Uh, will you come back after school?” 

Kenma offered a small smile. “If you’d like me to.” 

Kuroo nodded and Kenma blinked a few times as confirmation, picked up his bag and walked from the room. With Kenma gone, Kuroo sighed. Pain was settling over him again to match the pounding in his head and his eyes felt heavy. His dad claimed that he’d been out for so long, so why did he feel so tired still? 

“So, Tetsurou,” Kuroo’s mom whispered. “What’s Kenma’s girlfriend like?” 

Kuroo did not like that either. “What?” 

“Oh, come on, I’m not stupid. It’s understandable for men your age, especially being as handsome as you are, but I couldn’t get a word out of him in the cafeteria and--” 

“Mom, please, please tell me you did not ask Kenma about his girlfriend,” Kuroo begged. “Please, tell me that.” 

“Well, I was curious!” she yelped. 

“Mom!” Kuroo screeched and it felt like deja vu. 

_With my dad bothering Tsukishima and my mom bothering Kenma, they feel so made for each other. How come they couldn’t make it?_

Adult realities settled over Kuroo. 

_Sometimes, just being in love isn’t enough._ Kuroo thought about Kenma. _I’ve at least learned that much._

“Well?” his mom pressed. 

“I don’t know, mom. I don’t know anything about it,” Kuroo lied with more bite to his voice than he intended. 

“Ohhh,” his mom sat back and crossed her arms. “I get it.” 

“Y-you do?” Kuroo asked nervously. 

“Of course, honey. I’m your mother. I’m not stupid,” she replied. Kuroo gulped. Did she really figure it out? Was I that obvious? “You’re upset because Kenma has a girlfriend and you don’t.” 

Kuroo released his tension in relief and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, mom, that’s it.” 

“Well don’t worry about it sweetie, you’re handsome enough. Whenever I go to your games, there’s always a fairly large section of fans dedicated to you. In fact! There’s always one girl who seems to be leading the group with long brown hair and she sometimes wears a bow in the back. Do you know who I’m talking about?” his mom asked. 

“Uh, no.” It was a complete lie. Of course Kuroo knew the woman his mother was referring to. Her name was Sumiko and she was completely crazy. 

She’d attended the same school as Kuroo in middle school as well and their final year she confessed to him that she was in love with him. Apparently she leads an actual fan club for him now, but if anyone in the club acts too much like they love Kuroo, she does crazy stuff to them. He’d even heard a rumor that she punched a girl once. 

_Thank god I knew, even then, that I was in love with Kenma._

The truth of it was, Sumiko was incredibly beautiful. _Like a black widow._ When she first confessed to him, Kuroo actually considered going out with her, but for the fact that Kenma approached half a second later, confirming that he was the only one Kuroo was interested in. Kuroo respectfully declined the offer and was both relieved and perturbed to discover over the course of the next few years that she was, in fact, completely insane. Bokuto, the captain and ace from Fukurodani Academy, with whom Kuroo was actually pretty close, called her ‘Sumibaka,’ after she approached them while they were hanging out one day. Akaashi, vice captain and Bokuto’s boyfriend, called her ‘creepy.’ 

“Well, maybe look for her next time you’re in school, or any of the other girls in your fan club,” his mom sang sweetly. 

A harsh snicker came from the doorway and Kuroo looked over to see Tsukishima walking back in. “What?” he growled, eyes half-lidded. 

Tsukishima put a hand over his mouth to keep from falling out laughing. “Fan club? For you?”

“Didn’t you have to be going, Tsukki?” Kuroo asked sarcastically. 

Tsukishima’s face settled and he sighed. “Actually, I do.” 

“Oh.” Kuroo was disappointed. He really did like Tsukishima a great deal. For a first year, he was maturer than most his age, and Kuroo always had a good time playing volleyball with him. He smiled slyly. “Hey, how’s Yamaguchi?” 

The tips of Tsukishima’s cheeks splashed red. “Mind your own business.” 

Kuroo snickered. “Well anyway, I’ll see for myself tomorrow.” 

Tsukishima looked down at him over his glasses. “If you show up tomorrow looking like you’re going to play, I’ll lock you out of the gym.” 

“Oh, I like him,” Kuroo’s mom hummed. 

“I’m already feeling better, Tsukki,” Kuroo squeaked, but it was an intense fabrication. 

“I mean it,” Tsukishima hissed. 

Kuroo looked away angrily. “Fine!” 

“See ya,” Tsukishima huffed. He turned to walk out, but stopped with his back to Kuroo. “Uh, maybe I’ll call you later or something. Just to make sure you haven’t died.” 

Tsukishima continued without saying anything else and Kuroo called after him. “It’s okay to be worried about your friends, Tsukki! Repressing feelings is bad for you!” 

Tsukishima didn’t respond. Whether he didn’t hear him or chose to ignore him, Kuroo wasn’t sure, but he supposed it was the latter. He settled into the hospital bed as best he could, but it was uncomfortable and made him miss his own bed. He shifted a couple times and then grunted in frustration. 

“How long do I have to stay here?” he barked. 

“Just until we can get your fever to go down,” Kuroo’s dad responded to him, re-entering the room. 

“Oh! Did you know Kenma has a girlfriend and Kuroo’s jealous?” his mom asked quickly. 

His dad shot him a confused look and Kuroo shook his head. “Collectively we’ve concluded that, I too, want a girlfriend.” 

Kuroo’s dad closed his eyes and nodded. “Oh, that. Well get after it son, I’m sure you’ll find someone. Maybe a blond.” 

“Dad,” Kuroo snapped. 

“Sorry, sorry,” his dad replied chuckling. “Anyway, some sleep should help. You can take more medicine now, so I’ve brought it along and after you get some rest, hopefully your fever will go. Once it’s under control I’ll feel comfortable enough to send you home.” 

Kuroo took the medicine his dad brought, it was disgusting and he was happy medicine wasn’t something he ever had much need for, and then with his mom rubbing his head, he closed his eyes to sleep. 

The hospital bed was uncomfortable; nothing more than a cheap, stock mattress with equally generic sheets and blankets, but Kuroo had learned long ago how to make himself fall asleep no matter where he was. 

He thought of his own bedroom. Deep red walls and cherrywood floor. The sun shining in through the window, casting shadows around the cherry blossom tree in his backyard. The small desk beneath said window that he hardly ever used because he was partial to doing his homework while laying in bed. This was, of course, because, like a wild animal to food, if he laid on his stomach and was still and silent for long enough, a certain setter would find his way over. Leaning against his side, head over his back, as he played a video game. Every time he would swear at the game or make light conversation with Kuroo, his voice would reverberate through his body and into Kuroo’s. If Kuroo got really lucky, Kenma would be in shorts and a t-shirt, which would both bunch around his body in the position, giving Kuroo a delectable view of his firm, pale thighs, and near edible stomach. They’d talk about nothing in particular, and Kuroo usually found himself falling asleep that way too. It was his happy place. 

_Then again._

“Sleep well honey,” his mom whispered, worlds away. 

_Kenma is my happy place._


	4. Dumpster Showdown (Kind of...)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due to his illness, Kuroo is forced to sit out of the Karasuno/Nekoma practice match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no excuse for my lateness (I mean there is, my hectic life), but no excuses. Accept my humblest apologies. 
> 
> I've written ahead so hopefully there won't be any more egregious, one month delays in posting. Love you guys and all your support.

Kuroo shifted aggressively for the seventh time next to Coach Nekomata and he tossed an angry glare “Calm down, Kuroo. You’ve played Volleyball every day for the last seven years of your life. Leading from the sidelines won’t kill you,” he growled. 

Kuroo crossed his arms and let out an audible huff. “It might.” 

_It’s not just that I can’t play that’s pissing me off._

On Karasuno’s side of the court, Kageyama, their setter, set the ball high and Hinata ran forward and spiked it straight down next to Kenma, attempting to set the ball for Lev. Kenma looked over at Hinata, poking out his chest with pride, and chuckled. 

“That’s not all that cool, Shoyo,” Kenma insulted. 

Hinata drooped his head in disappointment. “I was working on it just to impress you.” 

“Impress me by winning the game,” Kenma replied quickly. 

Hinata jumped up, revitalized. “It’s gonna be sad to crush you, Kenma, but I’m gonna!” With this the idiot middle blocker turned and ran back to the boundary line of the court and charged forward, preparing to spike again. 

“Calm down,” Kenma demanded. 

Kageyama growled an affirmation. “He’s right. You’re going to run out all of your energy before the game even starts.” 

Hinata stopped and rubbed the back of his head, blushing lightly. “Sorry.” 

_It’s one thing to make out in private, but don’t just sit and flirt in my face._

Kuroo shifted his gaze to watching Tsukishima and his best friend, Yamaguchi, on whom Kuroo knew Tsukishima had a crush, practicing blocks. Apart from holding his arms incredibly rigid, not giving himself the full breadth of movement at his disposal with his massive wingspan, Tsukishima also wasn’t jumping his full height. 

“Hey, four eyes. Any particular reason you’re jumping like you’re 100 centimeters, not 190 centimeters,” Kuroo barked at him. 

Tsukishima stopped and looked over at Kuroo, and even through his glasses and the distance, Kuroo could see him roll his eyes. Still, slightly to Kuroo’s shock, when Yamaguchi went up to spike another ball, Tsukishima crouched lower and jumped up, more the expected height, and he would have blocked the ball, had his arms not been so rigid, but Yamaguchi changed course and Tsukishima wasn’t able to move as quickly. 

“Loosen your arms,” Kuroo said, more normally, and in a tone of pure instruction. 

_I know you’re probably just trying to let your crush get a spike in, but I wouldn’t be a friend if I didn’t correct those clear errors._

Tsukishima stretched his arms a little more, and on his next block, though a wall he did form, he could tell by the way his elbows didn’t seem locked and when one of the guys unknown to Kuroo went up to spike, he too tried to change course, and Tsukishima was able to fan his arm and still successfully block the ball. When he landed, he looked at Kuroo with a snide rebalancing of his glasses. 

“Any other complaints, your highness?” Tsukishima asked. 

Kuroo shook his head dramatically with a bright smile. Tsukishima, again rolled his eyes, but just couldn’t seem to prevent a smirk from rising to his face as he continued to block, applying all of Kuroo’s advice.

“Hey,” Yamamoto yelped, “quit helping the enemy!” 

Kuroo opened his mouth to speak, but Coach Nekomata put a hand on Kuroo’s shoulder. “There’s a huge difference between enemies and rivals, Yamamoto,” he huffed, much to the mohawked player’s disdain. “The best rivals are fighting their hardest, otherwise there’s no point. If Kuroo wants to hone your skills by making sure your opponents are using every weapon in their arsenal to their full extent, I couldn’t ask more of him as a coach.” 

“Besides,” Karasuno’s coach, Ukai, added from nearby, “there’s a reason we’ve never won a game against you, and it’s your powerhouse captain. He doesn’t just bring out the best in your team, he brings out the best in ours. If he didn’t still do that, even when he can’t play, it would almost make this game too easy for you to win.” 

“Did he just insult us?” Kuroo heard Karasuno’s Yamamoto look alike ask. 

When Kuroo looked back at his own team, they were all standing around staring at him with a look that was a mix between annoyance and fear. He shook his head and then clapped his hands.

“Finish warming up! Karasuno’s gonna blow you away if you don’t give it 150%. Go!” Kuroo barked. He appreciated the kind words from the coaches, but he was ready to move on. “Kenma, do a few more spikes with Lev. He’s still jumping like an insipid rabbit.” And stop paying so much fucking attention to Hinata. 

With Yamamoto’s help, Kenma threw toss after toss to Lev, who, despite having a strong spiking form, was jumping way too high, and swinging too late, causing him to whack the net. Kuroo barked a corrections a few times, but the sheer lack of correction pissed him off too much to bear. Angrily, he stood up, and started to walk onto the court. 

“Noooo.” 

Kuroo heard the demand and his memory of the threat from the day before let him know exactly who it was. He turned and looked at Team Karasuno, and Tsukishima had stopped moving and was staring directly back at him, his brown eyes piercing, even through his glasses. The entirety of both teams were stopped and staring at the interaction.

Kuroo held an arm out towards Lev. “All I’m gonna do is--” 

“No,” Tsukishima repeated sternly. 

With a noticeable roll of his eyes, Kuroo stormed back over to the bench and slammed down, crossing his arms and swearing as he did so. As if to rub it in, Tsukishima went right back to practicing and Kuroo looked back at his team, stunned and frozen again. 

“Kai! Fucking do something about his shitty jumps!” Kuroo shouted at the meek sub-captain. 

“Uh, right, sorry,” Kai replied, scuttling over to Lev quickly and berating him for his mistakes. 

Kuroo was relieved when the game finally got started, because honestly, he was ready for the whole ordeal to be over. He didn’t want to continue to watch his team play relatively shitty without him on the court. He didn’t want to continue to watch Kenma stare at Hinata with a ridiculously impressed look every time he blinked or breathed and he didn’t want to watch Lev and Kai get the opportunity to duke it out with Tsukishima and not be able to join. He wanted to go home. 

For these reasons, he’d mostly checked out, which was precisely why he was shocked when Coach Nekomata made a sudden observation. “Kozume’s behaving strangely.” 

Kuroo looked up and over at Kenma, but at first glance, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He was still playing meticulous, yet lazy, and doing a marginal job of keeping the body of his team running. 

“What do you mean?” Kuroo asked. 

“Well, I could be wrong,” Coach Naoi joined in, “but I’m almost certain he’s challenging Karasuno’s gigantic middle blocker.” 

_That’s not possible._ Kenma didn’t challenge people, certainly not the hardest people to challenge. 

Kuroo’s eyes widened as he watched the next several plays. Of them, both times Tsukishima was on the right, Kenma would toss to whomever was on the right, being sure to toss them something they could spike past Tsukishima, same with the left side. To add a level of trickery to the plays, he glanced and leaned in ways specifically to trick Tsukishima and both times Tsukishima was the center blocker, he insulted him to his face with setter dumps. Kuroo was shocked when, after the second setter dump, Kenma held his ground, with a sly smile, when Tsukishima stared him down with agitation. 

“What the…?” Kuroo murmured out loud. “What is he doing that for?” 

“Does he have some grudge with Tsukishima?” Coach Nekomata asked. 

“Not that I know of,” Kuroo responded. “They hardly know each other.” _I have to remember to ask him when this set is over…_

As the set dragged on, and eventually concluded, Coach Nekomata let out a sigh of disdain. “We barely made it.” 

“Seems our team is less than prepared for fighting without their captain. We’ll have to work on that,” Coach Naoi added. 

Karasuno’s manager, Shimizu, blew the whistle and the teams began to switch sides while Karasuno’s second manager, Yachi, and Nekoma’s pseudo-manager and Lev’s older sister, Alisa, reset the scoreboard. 

Alisa was no longer in high school, but attended most of the games and practices to support Lev anyway, and took to taking care of the team. They had no manager so no one seemed opposed to it. 

Kuroo allowed the team to walk ahead of him, pulling Kenma back to him as everyone passed. With everyone far ahead of them Kuroo walked slowly ahead with Kenma giving him a confused, and slightly annoyed look. 

_What’s his deal, seriously?_

“Hey, what’s going on out there?” Kuroo asked him. 

“Nothing,” Kenma replied quickly. 

“It’s not nothing, you’re playing like a freak all of a sudden,” Kuroo retorted. 

“I’m just trying to close the gap with you out,” Kenma said. 

Kuroo bunched his brow. _Suddenly you’re willing to do more work when I’m gone, not less?_ He shook his head, because he honestly didn’t know where to go with such a claim. Additionally, he was worried. Kenma was easy to get dejected, as evidenced by his near quitting the previous year, and knew that in a one-on-one battle, he’d lose to Tsukishima. 

“Well, just be careful who you’re challenging out there. He may seem lazy, but Tsukishima’s no one to be messed with. Piss him off too bad and you’ll be lucky if all your tosses don’t start getting shut out completely,” Kuroo warned unrelentingly. “He’s kind of badass. He can be really scary.” 

Kenma walked a little past Kuroo and side-eyed him angrily. “Not everyone thinks he’s a godsend like you do.” Kuroo’s eyes widened and Kenma quickly looked away. “S-sorry…” He ran back out onto the court, leaving Kuroo motionless with shock. 

_What the hell was that? This is the most aggressive I’ve seen him the entire time we’ve known one another._

Kenma’s discord was evident in the way he played the second set. Unlike his clear battling with Tsukishima in the first set, he avoided him in the second. This turned out to be a fairly poor decision in general, because Kageyama honed in on the disruption and started giving more balls to Tsukishima to spike. Moreover, Tsukishima noticed that Kenma seemed to be turning-tail and pulled lots of last minute switches with Karasuno’s ace and captain to block because he knew Kenma would toss near them as opposed to him. This strategy turned out to be incredibly successful as neither Lev nor Kai seemed to be able to get a word in edgewise, and even Yamamoto struggled to get his spikes through, though he did manage to get Nekoma some points. Still, the set had ended before he knew it, Karasuno snagging it back, and sent them into full sets. 

Kuroo approached Kenma during the set change, but Kenma walked away, pretending not to have seen him. 

“Oi, Kenma,” Kuroo called, but the faux-blond ignored him and ran out onto the court to stand awkwardly in avoidance. 

Kuroo crossed his arms. _What the fuck? You’re the one who said something crazy to me, not the other way around. Where do you get off ignoring me? If anyone has the right to be pissed off, it’s me._

Kuroo sat on the bench in a huff as his already deplorable mood worsened. He and Kenma rarely fought, if ever, and even when they did, it was typically something simple like, Kuroo called a game that Kenma liked ‘stupid’ or Kenma laughed at Kuroo for the amount of gel he used trying to get his permanent collick to lay down. Never an ‘ignoring’ and ‘walking away from’ kind of fight. Thinking about it bummed Kuroo out and soon he was no longer angry, just sad. 

_This has been the shittiest week._

Kuroo stood up suddenly and looked down at Coach Nekomata and Naoi. “Can I go home? There’s no reason for me to be here anyway.” 

Coach Nekomata crossed his arms. “No,” he huffed. “You need to remember your role as a captain. Just because you can’t play, doesn’t mean you don’t have a part to play here. You need to be strong for your team and strong for yourself.”

Kuroo’s jaw dropped, but Naoi put a hand on Nekomata’s shoulder. “Let’s not forget that the reason Kuroo isn’t playing is because he’s ill. Resting so he can be strong tomorrow is just as important as being strong today.” 

Coach Nekomata let out a gruff and ignored Naoi, turning his attention back to the game, a clear sign of relenting for the high-horsed coach. Naoi nodded with a smile and looked back at Kuroo. “Go. Get lots of rest and we’ll see you on Monday.” 

“Thanks, Coach,” Kuroo said with a bow. He grabbed his bag from near the door and quickly made his way around the courts and out of the gym. 

_Sleeping for two days straight may not solve these problems, but at least I can forget about them for a little while._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite what history has shown him, Kuroo is surprised at what happens when he leaves the game early.


	5. Quiet Kenma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo has left the Karasuno game early, and despite past experiences, is shocked at what happens next.

Kuroo stared down in stunned silence as Kenma suddenly appeared at his side, iPhone in hand and Geometry Dash on, as though he was exactly where he should be in that moment. Kuroo stopped walking and tried to calculate how many minutes had passed since he left the Karasuno game. Five, six, max? 

Kenma looked back at him after dying in his game. “What?” 

“'What'?!” Kuroo exclaimed. “I… You… What the hell are you doing here? There’s no way the game ended.”

“Um, I think it was 6-10, in Karasuno’s favor, when I left,” Kenma stated simply. 

Kuroo didn’t even know how to form a question that would answer all of the inquires in his head before they overflowed his brain and sent him into a coma. _Five minutes ago you were ignoring me and now you’ve left the game early because I left?_

“I… Who’s setting with you gone?” Kuroo asked, slightly annoyed that it was, in no way, the most important of the questions he had. 

“I have no idea,” Kenma replied, turning away from Kuroo and continuing on. 

Kuroo opened his mouth to ask more, but didn’t. As he continued forward, pride swelled inside him. He imagined how it must have looked to everyone; Kuroo leaving and then Kenma leaving half a second later. Kuroo knew Coach Nekomata wouldn’t agree to him leaving, so if he was basing it off of logic, Kenma literally had to have just stopped playing and walked away. Moreover, he did it in front of Hinata. Kuroo bit the inside of his lip to try and keep his smile stifled. 

_He’s just worried about me, that’s all it is._

Kuroo refused to get his hopes up, though as he thought about it, it was difficult not to. He kept himself from getting too excited by reminding himself how Kenma treated him during the game. It was uncharacteristic and mean. It made Kuroo angry again as he thought about it. He considered demanding an apology, but honestly, if Kenma was willing to just pretend like it never happened, Kuroo was too. He didn’t like fighting with Kenma, and certainly didn’t want things to get any worse. 

They walked down the road silently until they were turning onto the street Kenma and Kuroo both lived on, though a few blocks down from one another. Kuroo slowed as they approached Kenma’s house which came first on the street, but Kenma didn’t slow, in fact, as they got to his house, Kenma didn’t even stop. iPhone game pinging away, Kenma kept right on walking, letting Kuroo know he had no intentions of going home, at least not right then. With a small smile of relief, Kuroo ran to catch up to Kenma, as they made their way for his home instead. 

_A night with Kenma would pretty much be the best way to make this week better._

Kuroo unlocked the front door to his house when they arrived and entered, pulling Kenma’s bag from him, as he usually did, while they both kicked off their shoes. For a brief moment, Kuroo and Kenma turned in opposing directions and bumped into each other, there was a flurry of sounds that ended with Kuroo looking down at Kenma, and Kenma returning the gaze intently. A dumber man may have thought something of it, but Kuroo knew better. 

“Move it, clumsy,” he joked with a sly smirk. 

Kenma smiled a small Kenma smile and walked into the hallway. As Kuroo started in after him, his dad peeked out from the living room. 

“Oh, you’re back sooner than I thought. How’d the game go?” he asked. 

As Kenma and Kuroo passed him they replied in unison, “no idea.” 

“I, um, okay… Kenma will you be staying for dinner?” his dad replied. 

“Only if you’re making spring rolls,” Kenma responded. 

Kuroo’s dad laughed. “Heh, spring rolls I can do!” He turned an apprehensive gaze to Kuroo. “I’ll be around all night, so just let me know if you boys need anything.” He smiled in a way that made Kuroo chuckle. It was hardly a subtle warning. 

“Thanks, dad,” Kuroo replied, pushing Kenma off towards his bedroom. You don’t have to worry about funny business. There’s not really any to get into. 

They walked in and Kuroo was happy that things felt normal. He set he and Kenma’s bags down near the door, plugged his cell phone in to the charger at his desk, set it against his window, so he could see it if it rang, and then walked over and sat down on the edge of his bed. As expected, Kenma plugged his cell phone into the charger on the desk, that Kuroo always left for when Kenma was over and then he moved to his bag and unzipped it, no doubt going for his DS. Kuroo smiled, watching him. He was happy that way. It wasn’t a scene out of his wildest dreams, where if he wished he could kiss and touch Kenma as much as he wanted, but it was normal and them and the way Kuroo liked it. 

He let out a huge yawn, tilting his head to one side, just barely managing to look away when Kenma looked back at him, so he wouldn’t know he’d been staring. 

“That’s like the sixth time you’ve yawned,” Kenma noted. 

“Well, I’m pretty tired. I realize I didn’t play in the game or anything, but being sick has really kicked my ass. I don’t get sick very often, so my body isn’t used to it,” Kuroo replied just before letting out another large yawn. 

“So get some rest,” Kenma responded as he turned his attention back to his backpack, finally pulling his DS free. 

He turned and sat on the floor at the foot of Kuroo’s bed where he usually sat before Kuroo would all out lift him onto the bed and sit on the floor himself. That considered, Kuroo didn’t know if it was a good idea for him to sleep on the floor that night. He was sore, and still pretty sick. He also knew that if he laid down in his bed at all, he’d pass out immediately. 

“If I fall asleep now, I’ll sleep all night and you’ll get bored,” Kuroo replied. His eyelids were starting to grow heavier. His apprehension aside, he may just not make it. 

Kenma wiggled his DS in the air as it powered on. “I’ll be fine. Besides, if you’re tired and need rest, then the most entertaining thing for me right now would be to see you getting that rest.” 

Kuroo’s jaw dropped a little at the ridiculously sweet statement. He didn’t argue again. The sentiment was so wonderful, and Kuroo was so tired, that he decided he’d best just oblige. Without undressing much, except for pulling off his sweat jacket, Kuroo laid down on his bed, pulling his blankets over, with his feet near where Kenma sat playing some ridiculous game with Disney characters and something called ‘keyblades.’ It was a simple set up, but Kuroo couldn’t sleep. His heart pounded as he stared at Kenma. 

_I love him so much it hurts._

Kuroo rubbed his stomach softly. He needed to not upset himself again, so he tried to divert his thoughts. He considered asking about what happened during the game and his weird outburst about Tsukishima, but as he opened his mouth to do so, he stopped. 

_That will definitely disrupt this stasis, and I’m enjoying it too much._

Kuroo planned to ask at some point, however. He needed to understand more of what caused that anger that was so unlike Kenma. 

Over on his desk the phone rang, and Kuroo, being the smug technological bastard that he was, had set different pictures for all of his friends. With his phone propped up, he could see the picture of a very agitated Tsukishima pop up, with Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi smashed around him. Kuroo chuckled remembering the last time Tsukishima had found himself in Tokyo and agreed, after many repeated requests, to go out with the three. Before he left, Kuroo forced him to take the picture to partner the cell phone number he’d also siphoned from him that day. 

_Probably wants to know if I’m okay, though I know he won’t admit it._

Kenma was an arm’s reach from his desk, so instead of getting all the way up he nudged the back of Kenma’s head, through the blanket, with his foot. “Hey, can you hand me my phone?” 

It wasn’t like Kenma was delayed in reacting or had to get to a stopping point in his game, he flat out ignored Kuroo. Kuroo scrunched his nose in confusion. It wasn’t like he and Kenma were miles apart or anything, just a few feet. _I know he heard me._

“Hey, Kenma. Can you hand me my cell phone please?” Kuroo repeated. 

Kenma ignored him again. He didn’t even say ‘no,’ he just did nothing and pretended as though Kuroo wasn’t speaking at all. 

_What the hell?_

Irritated, Kuroo pulled his covers over and started to climb out of bed. He barely got one foot on the floor when Kenma jumped up from his spot, pulled Kuroo’s phone off the charger, and shoved it into the pocket of his sweater, before sitting back down on the floor as if nothing happened. 

“What…?” Kuroo sat up in his bed. “Give me my phone.” He was a little dumbfounded. 

“No,” Kenma spat. 

“No?” Kuroo asked. He was shocked, confused, and annoyed. “What the heck, Kenma? Give me my phone.” 

“No,” Kenma replied again. 

Kuroo leaned around, behind Kenma, on his bed and reached down towards the pocket Kenma had shoved his phone into, but Kenma shifted, denying Kuroo access, during which time, his phone stopped ringing. 

“Kenma, what the f--” In a single, swift, and probably stupid motion, Kuroo used his other hand to snatch Kenma’s DS from him. 

Kenma reached out. “Kuro, give me my DS.” 

“Give me my phone,” Kuroo replied. 

“No,” Kenma replied. “Give me my DS.” 

“No,” Kuroo hissed. “Why won’t you give me my phone?” 

Kenma stood up and Kuroo’s heart raced when he started to crawl onto the bed. Kuroo scrambled back onto his knees, as Kenma reached out, and held his DS high above his head. He used his free hand to try and get at his pocket, but Kenma leaned away, so that Kuroo couldn’t reach without sacrificing the height of the DS. Kenma reached for it, crawling closer and closer to Kuroo, until finally, his body was flush against Kuroo’s. Kuroo knew he could reach Kenma’s pocket now, but it was the furthest thing from his mind, because when he looked down to confirm that the pocket was within reach, he instead found Kenma’s face arched up towards his, with all of about five or six sheets of paper’s worth of space separating them. Kuroo’s heart raced. 

_I can’t control myself anymore…_

_…I have to kiss him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it finally gonna happen?


	6. Whoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo decides to kiss Kenma.

_What do I do?_

In Kuroo’s defense, Kenma didn’t seem to be in any particular hurry to move, any more than Kuroo was. 

_If he rejects my kiss, it could ruin everything._

He and Kenma were near nose to nose and Kuroo thought his heart may leap right out of his chest. 

_What do I do?_

Kuroo took a deep breath in. 

_I have to kiss him._

The handle of Kuroo’s door jolted and his door opened half a moment later. His dad appeared around the corner, and Kuroo, knowing his dad’s knowledge of the situation, jolted in response, lost control of his grip on Kenma’s DS, which sent it crashing to the ground. As soon as it hit the floor there was an audible snap and Kuroo knew right away, he’d broken it. He looked down and saw the long crack across the screen, and the image the game was projecting was nothing more than a litany of colors, all converging at the origin of the crack across the screen. 

Kenma leaned over the side of Kuroo’s bed, looking down at his game. Kuroo’s stomach burned with sadness. “Kenma, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll have it repaired. First thing tomorrow.” 

“I can pay for it. It was my sudden intrusion that caused Tetsurou to drop it. I apologize Kenma. I just came in to see what kind of spring rolls you wanted…” Kuroo’s dad said sadly. “Pork, shrimp or veggie?”

Kuroo eyed his dad angrily. _He’s probably not still going to stay for fucking dinner._

“Veggie,” Kenma replied so quietly it could barely be heard. 

“Kenma…” Kuroo murmured, but he quickly stopped talking. There was nothing he could say. 

“Veggie it is,” Kuroo’s dad said, rapidly departing. 

As soon as the door shut, Kenma climbed off the bed and grabbed his DS. 

“Kenma,” Kuroo said, but Kenma didn’t respond. He walked over the desk pulled his phone off the charger and slammed Kuroo’s down in its place. “Kenma.” He walked over to the door, picked up his backpack and walked out.

Kuroo sat on the edge of his bed and put his face in his hands. 

_Fuck. That went as sideways as it could go, as quickly as it could go._

Kuroo didn’t know what to do with himself. Should he chase after Kenma? Should he respect the fact that he’s upset and give him some space. He loved Kenma so much and feared messing up his friendship with him so much, that he was starting to feel sick to his stomach. His head began pounding and the exhaustion, that never really went away, came back full force and, in no time at all, Kuroo felt like he may actually pass out.

_I’ll replace his DS tomorrow, not just have the screen fixed. I should get him that new game that he wanted too…_

Kuroo leaned back on his bed, feeling the room spin around him as he did so. 

_It really is my dad’s fault, so he can pay for it, since he offered to anyway. It may not be enough, but it’s a good start._

What Kuroo also knew, the reason he was the most frustrated, is that he’d resolved to kiss Kenma in that moment. It wasn’t a lack of control or anything, Kuroo simply found himself feeling like he wanted to know for sure how Kenma felt. 

_He got so crazy during the game today, and then again when Tsukishima called. We were so close for so long and he never once made any attempt to move. He said all that great stuff about being entertained by me getting the rest that I need._

Kuroo shook his head. He knew what was happening. 

_It’s easy to confuse best friend actions and romantic actions when one of you is in love with the other. Jealousy over thinking your best friend may have another friend they like more? Wanting the other to be in good health? Being able to be incredibly close without getting uncomfortable? That’s all stuff that best friends do. The only problem is, I want more, so I see more in everything he does too._

Kuroo placed his hand over his eyes, feeling the burn of his overhead light. 

_I just love you more than anything._

There was a quiet knock on Kuroo’s door. “Tetsurou, can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Kuroo called back. 

His door creaked open and his dad peered around the corner, drooping his head when he noticed Kenma missing. He walked over to Kuroo’s bed and sat down on the edge next to Kuroo. 

“I’m sorry. I barged in here and made you drop Kenma’s game and he got really upset,” his dad apologized. “I thought I heard the front door open and shut, but I was really hoping it wasn’t Kenma leaving.” 

“Yeah,” Kuroo said. “It’s okay. I think that there was some underlying frustration.” 

“What happened?” his dad asked. 

Kuroo rubbed the bridge of his nose, thinking back on the last couple of hours that somehow felt like they’d spanned whole days. “I don’t know. He got super weird today during the game. You remember my friend, Tsukishima, from the hospital?” Kuroo’s dad nodded. “Kenma was challenging him. Kenma’s a great setter, don’t get me wrong, but one-on-one with Tsukki. A setter versus a middle blocker. 169 centimeters versus 190. It’s no contest in areas that really have nothing to do with personal skill. I didn’t want him to lose and get discouraged, so I told him to back off, and he got all weird. Told me that not everyone thinks he’s a godsend like I do and then started ignoring me. I left the game early because I didn’t feel well and five minutes later, here he is. He just left the game in the middle of the set.” 

“Wow,” Kuroo’s dad commented. 

“We get back here, and everything’s fine and he wanted me to get some rest, but then Tsukishima called. I asked him to hand me my phone and he wouldn’t, then he picked it up and shoved it in his pocket when I went to get it. He wouldn’t give it back so I took his DS--” 

“That was childish,” his dad scolded. 

“I know,” Kuroo hissed back. “Anyway, when you walked in, I was holding his DS high so he couldn’t reach it, but you opened the door so suddenly and I freaked out and dropped it. By the way, you’re helping me pay for it.” 

“I said I would,” Kuroo’s dad replied. “Do you mind if I make an observation?” 

“Sure?” Kuroo responded. 

“I think you may be missing the bigger picture,” his dad said. 

“Bigger picture? What do you mean?” Kuroo asked. 

“Well, I don’t want to give you any false hope, but in the last few days, when I’ve seen Kenma, he’s been behaving very strangely, even for him. Sure you broke the screen on his DS, but I wouldn’t expect that to have upset him as much as it seems to, would you?”

Kuroo shook his head. “No. He wouldn’t even respond to me when I called his name. I know he’s a gamer, but it seemed excessive.” 

“He was okay at the hospital until Tsukishima showed up. Fine at your game until you talked about Tsukishima. Fine here until Tsukishima called. Label me an idiot, but that really sounds like someone who’s terribly jealous,” his dad explained. 

“Well, I think he’s jealous, but in like a friendship way,” Kuroo said. “He’s feeling possessive over me as his best friend.” 

Kuroo’s dad crossed his arms and closed his eyes pensively. “I don’t know. I think anyone might think your relationship with Tsukishima is a little… friendlier…” 

“I don’t like Tsukishima like that though,” Kuroo said. “We’re just friends.” 

“Well, sure, you know that, but someone else. Even I was shocked to see someone show up at the hospital to see you outside of Kenma. I know that you’re popular, but you don’t really have anyone who calls you or texts you like that, other than Kenma. If I’m Kenma, and I see that, I might think that there’s something going on,” his dad said. “You do compliment him a fair amount. Even I thought there may be something.” 

Kuroo’s heart raced as he considered the facts. _Could Kenma be jealous on a romantic level?_ He shook his head suddenly, glancing upward at his dad. “Need I remind you that he was the one who showed up suddenly with hickies all over the place? He’s obviously not interested in me romantically, because he’s been with someone else.” 

Kuroo’s dad sighed. “There is a concept, and it may be a little beyond your age, where, when you desire love that you aren’t getting, you look for it in a different place.” 

“What do you mean?” Kuroo asked. 

“Well, take your mother and I, for example. She was so busy with her writing, and I with the hospital, that we didn’t cross paths very often. When we did, instead of being honest about how much I missed her, and would rather be exhausted than deprived of her, I just let the rift between us get bigger and bigger. I went to work every day feeling sapped for energy, but then when I would see my patients and nurses, they would show me a different kind of love, but love nonetheless. I missed the feeling of being loved so much, that instead of trying to repair things with your mother, I started spending more and more time and work, trying to find the love that had slipped away from us at home. In the end, your mother lost patience with me, and that was it,” his dad explained openly. Kuroo had heard both his parents’ side of the story of their divorce, but he’d never heard his father express his emotions so, emotionally. “It doesn’t excuse it, but we’re only human. We’re creatures that want to be loved in one way or another. Again, I don’t want to get your hopes up, but it could be what Kenma is doing. Filling the void.” 

_Filling the void._ “How come I never felt like I wanted to fill the void?” Kuroo asked. 

“You’d resolved yourself to be happy with receiving love from Kenma as a friend, so you weren’t deprived. That’s my best guess at least,” his dad said. He put a hand on Kuroo’s head. “Don’t be afraid to let a little optimism in, Tetsurou. I’m afraid pessimism runs in our family, but life isn’t always as bad as it seems.” He pulled his hand away. “You still have a fever.” 

“My head hurts really bad,” Kuroo admitted. 

His dad stood up, walked from the room, and came back a few minutes later with some medicine in tow. After making Kuroo eat an apple at least, he administered the medicine and told him to get some rest. 

“Tomorrow, we’ll go and replace Kenma’s DS and you can deliver it to him. Maybe, when you do, you can sit down and have a long overdue conversation,” he said. “Don’t let the rift get bigger.” 

Kuroo nodded, silently taking his father’s advice. _Get everything out. That’s what we need._

“I’ll leave your dinner in the microwave in case you wake up in the middle of the night and get hungry, but I want you to get lots of rest. You haven’t been 100% honest about how you’re feeling,” his dad scolded. 

“You noticed that, huh?” Kuroo said. With a loving scratch of the top of Kuroo’s head, his dad smiled, stood up and walked towards the door. “Hey, dad.” 

Kuroo’s dad faced him with piqued interest. “Yeah?”

“Thanks,” Kuroo said. 

His dad nodded and smiled, before clicking off the light and closing the door. Kuroo still didn’t want to get his hopes up, but as he drifted off to sleep, he could only hope that his conversation with Kenma would go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo has some making up to do.


	7. Filling the Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo goes to deliver Kenma's new game and a slice of his favorite food.

Kuroo took a deep breath. He checked his bag for, what felt like, the sixteenth time. 

_Newest version of the DS? Check. Weird game with animals crossing the street? Check. Slice of Apple Pie? Check._

Kuroo knocked on the door and waited. Kenma’s parents tended not to be home on the weekends, because they were both journalists and travelled, but when Kenma wasn’t with Kuroo, he was always at home. Apart from a certain night out with a certain idiot middle blocker. 

When Kuroo received no answer, he knocked again. “Kenma, it’s me. Open up, I have presents.” 

There was no response again and Kuroo started to get annoyed. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Kenma’s number. 

In the direction of the backyard he could hear a ringtone and assumed it was Kenma’s ringing in response to his call. He walked around the side, knowing that Kenma’s fence had an opening, and made his way into the back yard. When he turned the corner he froze in place at what he saw. 

Kenma was backed against the fence on the opposite side of the yard and that moronic middle blocker was pressed against him, head tilted and situated against the other’s neck. With Hinata’s back to him and Kenma’s eyes fluttered shut neither of them could see Kuroo standing there. Kuroo was grateful for this fact, because he knew he wasn’t able to hide the look of shock and heartbreak as it flashed across his face. 

It was painful enough knowing it’d happened the first time, but seeing it in person was too much. Apart from the way his very skin shattered at the sight of it, he might have stomped Hinata into the ground if he was within arm’s reach. Kuroo had to get out of there, but his temper was flaring. He slammed the bag in his hand on a planter nearby and Kenma’s eyes shot open. Kenma’s eyes widened and cheeks tinted in the most expression Kuroo had ever seen on Kenma’s face. 

“K-Kuro…” 

“Hey, don’t mind me,” Kuroo hissed. “I just brought you a gift. Sorry about yesterday.” His voice was thick with indignance and pain. “Hey, Hinata.” Kuroo greeted sarcastically. 

“H-hi…” 

“Don’t mind me,” Kuroo said angrily. “I’ll be going.” 

“Kuro,” Kenma whimpered. 

Kuroo didn’t stick around. He turned quickly and stormed out of the backyard and back out onto the main road. He walked a few feet in the direction of his house, then stopped and turned and started in the opposite direction, towards the city. He turned towards his house again, then towards the city again, until he just stopped in place and stood still. His heart broke more and more as each second passed. He was angry with himself for listening to his dad and getting his hopes up. He was fine knowing that nothing would ever happen, but as soon as a sliver of that dream drifted into his brain, it spread like wildfire, one that burned severely when it was crushed. 

In his pocket, his phone started ringing. He pulled it out, discovering that it was Tsukishima. He answered it angrily. 

“Hello?” he barked. 

“Your regular attitude has returned, so does that mean you’re feeling better?” Tsukishima said gruffly.

“What the fuck are you guys still doing in Tokyo?” Kuroo hissed. 

“Um, what?” Tsukishima said. “How did you know?”

“Where are you?” Kuroo asked, ignoring Tsukishima’s question. 

“Nekoma,” Tsukishima responded. “Are you okay?”

“Wanna hang out?” Kuroo asked. 

Tsukishima was silent for a while. “Um. Okay.” 

“Fine. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Kuroo said, storming off in the direction of school. 

_Kenma thinks he’s the only one with someone else?_

Kuroo was standing outside Nekoma High School, waiting for Tsukishima to come out before he knew it. He sat on one of the benches opposite the school with his head in his hands. He still didn’t feel very good, but he’d rather work on dealing with his broken heart than his broken body. Kuroo looked up, when he heard footsteps approaching and Tsukishima was on his way to him in a casual sweatshirt and jeans. Kuroo stood up and met Tsukishima halfway over. 

“You don’t look like you feel better,” Tsukishima said. “You should go--” 

Kuroo wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s waist and pulled him in. He abandoned his original plan to just go straight in for a kiss, and instead settled for a hug. 

“Uh, Kuroo,” Tsukishima murmured, trying to pull away, but Kuroo held on tight. “Please let me go.” 

Kuroo didn’t respond. He felt instant regret and was happy he didn’t kiss Tsukishima. Still, the physical contact was nice. He was 18 goddamn years for god’s sake. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, and it was probably a little of both, he’d denied himself intimacy of any kind because he wanted Kenma or no one at all. Unexpectedly, Tsukishima wrapped his arms around Kuroo and returned the hug. 

“Are you here to tell me you’re dying?” Tsukishima asked. 

Kuroo chuckled and it felt nice. “I’m not dying. I just feel like I am.” 

“Then go home and rest,” Tsukishima reprimanded. 

“It’s not that,” Kuroo said. 

“Huh?” Tsukishima grumbled. 

Kuroo finally leaned back out of the hug, reaching up to tousle Tsukishima’s hair. “Thanks.” 

Tsukishima swatted Kuroo’s hand away. “What is it then?” 

Kuroo walked back over and sat down on the bench he was sitting on at first and dropped his head low. “Kenma’s with Hinata.” 

“Oh,” Tsukishima walked over and sat down next to Kuroo. “Yeah.” 

“Did you know?” Kuroo said. 

“I wouldn’t say I knew, but Hinata talks about him a lot, so I thought maybe there was something. Sometimes, though, I think that Hinata just has no boundaries with anyone. Kenma wouldn’t be the first person I thought Hinata was with. Even just this week,” Tsukishima said. 

“That does not make me feel better,” Kuroo said. 

“I’m saying there’s a possibility there just the weird level of friendship that Hinata seems to attract,” Tsukishima said. He leaned his elbows against the back of the bench and tilted his head back. 

“The fact that I just caught Hinata sucking Kenma’s neck off, suggests that that’s actually not the case this time,” Kuroo murmured. 

“Oh,” Tsukishima said. “Sorry.” He shrugged. “It would surprise me if it was just a substitute though. I’ve considered being with people other than Yamaguchi, just to have something.” 

“So then just sleep with me,” Kuroo said boldly, knowing full-well he’d never do it. 

Tsukishima scoffed next to him. “That’s not gonna change anything for either of us and it isn’t gonna make us feel better.” 

“It might,” Kuroo said. “You’re hot.” 

“D-don’t say that,” Tsukishima said. 

“It’s true,” Kuroo said. He chuckled and shook his head. “That would prove you’re really my friend.” 

“How about we just hug again and call it even?” Tsukishima said. “It’s just, I… I’m in…” 

“I know,” Kuroo said. “Anyway, you’re right. It wouldn’t help. Maybe a good distraction, but that’s all.” 

Tsukishima smirked. “It would be a great distraction.”

“You’re an arrogant asshole,” Kuroo joked. 

“It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t fully prepare you for what you’d be signing up for,” Tsukishima joked. 

“I may be inexperienced, but I don’t want you thinking you’d be the only one at the top of your game. Don’t you forget who taught you,” Kuroo said. 

“Akaashi taught me the most,” Tsukishima said. 

“Pfft. A setter didn’t teach you how to block. A blocker taught you how to block,” Kuroo said. 

“Akaashi taught me how to take advantage of any kind of set,” Tsukishima argued. 

“Oi! Tsukki, don’t forget all that time I put in with you!” Kuroo yelped more animated. “And don’t you go thinking you could beat me one-on-one. You’re still years away from that.” He turned and looked at Tsukishima and he had a rare smile on his face. “What?” Kuroo barked. “We can go inside right now and I’ll show you!” 

Tsukishima glanced over, hazel eyes peering out through the side of his glasses. “Glad to see you still have your bite.” 

Kuroo was shocked. _He’s trying to make me feel better._ He snickered and looked away. “Thanks, Tsukki.” 

“Don’t call me that,” Tsukishima replied lightly. 

“You know, Tsukishima I--” 

“TSUKKI!” 

Kuroo and Tsukishima looked up and Karasuno’s pinch-server, and the man Tsukishima was in love with, Yamaguchi, was storming towards them. 

“What’s wrong?” Tsukishima asked. 

Yamaguchi marched straight up to Kuroo. His face was bright red, and though it was evident he was trying to have the fierceness of lion, all he had achieved was nothing more than that of a kitten. A newborn kitten, that only looks cuter and more innocent the angrier it is. 

“Y-y-you. S-s. Go away!” Yamaguchi yelped. 

Kuroo cocked his head in confusion. “Huh?” 

“Yamaguchi, what are you doing?” Tsukishima asked. 

Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima and his blush spread to the tips of his ears. “Tsukki. I… Um…” 

Kuroo smirked. _Holy shit, am I about to witness something momentous?_

“I know that I’m not as impressive a volleyball player as Kuroo and maybe you have more fun with him, but, but. I love you!” 

Kuroo’s face lit up and he looked over at Tsukishima, wearing an expression of complete bewilderment.

Kuroo stood up and smiled down at Yamaguchi. “Don’t worry, Yamaguchi. I’m much less of a threat than you realize.” 

Yamaguchi’s eyes widened. “Huh?” 

Kuroo looked down at Tsukishima and smiled. “Good luck, Tsukishima, and thanks. I feel better.” 

Tsukishima nodded half-heartedly, but he was dazed by the sudden confession, so with a final nod, Kuroo turned and walked away. 

He smiled as he walked down the road. That was so sudden. He was happy for his friend, but it did make his own situation burn in his gut again. He couldn’t see Kenma doing something like that. 

Something struck him suddenly and he stopped in place. 

_Kenma challenged Tsukishima._

_He wouldn’t let me talk to him on the phone._

_He… He did do that._

Kuroo stood in place, thinking back over everything and trying to determine if it was anything other than what it seemed like. 

_But Hinata…_

_‘I’ve considered being with people other than Yamaguchi, just for something.’_

_‘I started spending more and more time and work, trying to find the love that had slipped away from us at home.’_

_‘That may have been what Kenma is doing. Filling the Void.’_

_Holy shit._

_That’s why I went to Tsukki just now._

They were right. They were right and Kuroo was just being blind to the situation. He let his frustration of knowing Kenma was with someone else cloud the truth. Kuroo never thought he’d be comparing his level of bravery to the meek pinch server from his rival school, but that’s where he was. He made his way quickly for Kenma’s house. 

_No more filling the void, Kenma._

_I can’t settle for that anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo's resolved to deal with Kenma regardless of Hinata's presence, like Yamaguchi did he with Tsukishima. Will it have the same outcome?


	8. What Hints?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo has finally decided to come clean to Kenma, but there's a surprising twist of fate.

Kuroo didn't stop at the front door when he got to Kenma’s house. He charged right around to the back yard, entering without announcing himself. When he cleared the fence he was disappointed to see that Kenma wasn’t there, but his mom was there, tending carefully to the garden. She looked up and blinked a few times plainly at Kuroo. He had to hold back his laughter because it never ceased to amaze Kuroo just how much of a resemblance Kenma bore to his mother. It was like looking at an older, female version of him. 

“Oh, hello Tetsurou,” she greeted him, likely confused by his sudden intrusion. 

“Hi,” Kuroo said, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry to barge in, I was looking for Kenma.”

“Oh, he left a little while ago with his friend Shoyo. Nice boy,” she replied. 

“Yeah he’s great,” Kuroo seethed through gritted teeth. “Did they happen to mention where they were going?” 

“Sorry, they didn’t,” Kenma’s mom replied. “I can certainly tell him you came by when I see him again.” 

Kuroo deflated quickly thinking that his sudden and sharp response to seeing Hinata might have pushed Kenma over the edge. “Yeah, if you could that’d be great.” 

Kenma’s mom nodded and smiled sweetly, and Kuroo left. He slid his hands into his pockets as he walked along, wondering what Kenma and Hinata could be doing. 

_Now, if something untoward happens, I have no one to blame, but myself._

Still, as he walked along, he couldn’t help but suddenly see everything he’d missed before. Feeling like there was a possibility that he and Kenma could be in the same place, was nearly too much to handle. 

“Kuro?” 

Kuroo’s heart stopped when he heard the murmur. He turned around, and standing in the street behind him, was Kenma. 

“H-hi,” Kuroo greeted. 

Kenma’s gaze quickly averted downward. “Hi.” 

“Um, listen, I’m sorry about--” 

Kenma’s head shot up. “No!” It was the most expression he’d seen from the languid setter. “You don’t have to apologize. I owe you an apology.” 

Kuroo thought back over the situation. _That can’t be right._ “Um. For what? I was the one who broke your game and then--” 

“Tetsurou!” Kenma barked and it threw Kuroo for a loop. _He just called me by my first name…_

Kenma took several rapid steps towards Kuroo, grabbed the side of his button up and dragged him off the road, into an alleyway. He threw him, as best he could with the size difference, and stared at him with an angry expression that Kuroo didn’t realize Kenma was capable of. 

“What did I do?” Kuroo asked nervously. 

“I don’t like being made fun of! It’s pissing me off!” Kenma seethed. 

_‘Made fun of?’_ “Uh, sorry. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kuroo said, truly shocked. 

“Lately, it’s like you don’t even care about me! You do all this stuff and then just ignore me!” Kenma explained exasperatedly. 

Kuroo was at a loss. He had far from ignored Kenma, and found it downright impossible that he may have accidentally communicated that he didn’t care about him. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

“Kenma, I don’t… Um… I’m not sure how I managed to communicate that I don’t care about you. I… That’s crazy,” Kuroo fumbled all over the place trying to say something that would actively comfort Kenma. “I… I love you.” _Shit. That was zero to sixty._

“I’m not stupid,” Kenma hissed. “I know that you love me, but it’s different from what I want and I think you know that.”

“Huh?” Kuroo said. 

“I’m glad you care about me as a friend,” Kenma’s cheeks darkened, “for a really long time I thought it was more than that, but I tried dropping hints every way I know how, and you weren’t responding, so then I knew it wasn’t like that for you.” Kuroo hadn’t heard Kenma speak so much or so clearly the entire time he’d known him, “I was okay with that, just being your friend, but then you’d do stuff like look at me the way you did yesterday, or get all bent out of shape when you saw me with Hinata, that it made me think maybe there really was something. Then Tsukishima comes around and it’s like I don’t even exist. You laugh with him and you love playing volleyball with him. You lit up when he came and visited you in the hospital and you were so angry that I made you miss a single call from him that you took my DS, which you subsequently broke.” 

Kuroo found himself embarrassingly speechless at the sudden confession, so much so that “Sorry?” was all he could squeak out instead of the flurry of questions and explanations that flooded his mind. He cleared his throat, thinking back over the series of surprising statements. “Um, what did you mean by hints?” 

“What?” Kenma asked, clearly irritated. 

“You said you were dropping hints. I never noticed any hints,” Kuroo said, and he truly hadn’t. Apart from maybe realizing that Kenma had been a little jealous of Tsukishima, he hadn’t noticed anything else. 

“I did,” Kenma said. 

“I don’t think so,” Kuroo said. 

Kenma growled and were it not for the intense situation, Kuroo might have been floored by how cute it was. “I did.” 

“Like what?” Kuroo said. 

“I-I’m not gonna tell you that,” Kenma said. 

Kuroo crossed his arms. “Then it didn’t happen.” 

“That’s not gonna work,” Kenma said. 

“I’m just saying. You could be making it up,” Kuroo said. 

“Why would I be making that up?” Kenma asked. 

Kuroo shook his head. “Just tell me.” 

“Um… Well. Like whenever I’d sleep over at your house, I would lay next to you, or sometimes, in the club room, when we would be changing, I’d just stop halfway through, and walk around,” Kenma explained softly. “Whenever we ride the train, even if there’s no one else on there, or just a few people, I would all but sit in your lap. Oh, and, when I get the chance to, I’d spill on myself so you’d offer me a sweater. Um… although… I did that also so I could… um… well your sweaters, they um… smell like you.” 

Kuroo felt like his skeleton was going to jump forward out of his skin. “Are you kidding me?! You were doing that shit on purpose?!”

“You noticed?!” Kenma whined. 

“You walking around half naked? Yes, Kenma, I noticed that,” Kuroo barked. “I… I can’t believe that.” 

“I’m sorry. I know that that makes things weird, but I just…” Kenma took a deep sigh. “I can be happy for you if you wanna be with Tsukishima, I just want things to go back to normal. I want you to pay more attention to me and baby me like you used to and threaten to beat guys up who try to tease me. I know that that’s selfish, but…” 

Kuroo’s heart sank when Kenma’s voice started to shake. 

“I just… miss you,” Kenma admitted. 

“Kenma…” 

“I even tried going out with Shoyo to try and get over it, but it didn’t help. It was worse because Shoyo was just trying to get over Kageyama and neither of us knew what we were doing. I’m not gonna see him anymore, so… Can we please just go back to normal?” Kenma asked. 

Kuroo could probably offer an equally embarrassing and gut wrenching confession, but he could barely talk. He settled, instead for taking a step towards Kenma. 

“I’m sorry, we can’t go back to normal now,” Kuroo said. 

Kenma gaze fell to the floor. “I know I shouldn’t have said anything…” 

“No,” Kuroo said, reaching out and taking Kenma’s waist into his hands, finally. “We can’t go back to normal because I’m in love with you.” 

Kenma’s eyes shot up. “What?”

Kuroo chuckled. “You seriously didn’t know?” 

“You didn’t know,” Kenma murmured. 

“Know what?” Kuroo asked slyly. 

“All the stuff I just said,” Kenma said. 

“Yeah, I’m not sure exactly what that meant,” Kuroo said. 

Kenma shakily brought his hands up and placed them on Kuroo’s chest. “Liar.” 

“I’m not,” Kuroo said. 

“I… lo--” 

Before Kenma could finish the phrase, Kuroo brought their lips together. It was loss of sight, loss of sound, amazing. Kenma’s lips were warmer and sweeter tasting than Kuroo could have ever imagined, and it made him inexplicably happy when he could taste cinnamon and apples from the slice of pie he’d bought for Kenma. Soon the two were wrapping tightly around one another, dragging each other as deep into the kiss as possible. Kuroo’s mind went hazy. He couldn’t believe it. 

_I love you more than anything._

_I can’t believe you me too._

*** 

“Kuro, I don’t want to do this,” Kenma complained.

“Just, hurry up and spit it out,” Kuroo barked back, looming over Kenma sitting on his bed. “This is necessary.” 

“Can… Can I write it?” Kenma asked. 

Kuroo rolled his eyes. “Fine.” 

He walked over to his desk, grabbed a notebook and pen, and handed it Kenma. With a light tint to his cheek, Kenma opened the notebook to a new page and started to write. More time passed than Kuroo was hoping and his cleared his throat in irritation. 

“I’m almost done,” Kenma said. 

Another sixty or so seconds passed and Kuroo snatched the notebook. “That’s enough.” 

“Baby,” Kenma huffed, dropping the pen to the floor. 

Kuroo looked over the list and he couldn’t help but be annoyed as he read it. 

“Kuro.” 

“Shh,” Kuroo hissed. “I’m studying.” 

“I don’t like this,” Kenma said. “Why do we have to do this?”

Kuroo finally walked over to the desk, set the notebook down and walked back to Kenma. He crawled over him, pushing him down to his back on the bed. “Because, before anything else, I have to erase every place that stupid middle blocker kissed you.” At this he gave Kenma a deep, passionate kiss. “Then we’ll move onto… other stuff.” 

Kenma’s face flushed red. “O...okay.” 

Kuroo laughed and hugged Kenma tightly, hoping that the other couldn’t feel his racing heart. “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Kenma hummed back. 

_I love you more than myself._

_I always have._

_I always will._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support! I'm glad you enjoyed it! There will be another one shot going up this week and then the AU will start next week! Your support means the world to me and I'm so glad I can write for you guys! 
> 
> Feel free to drop any suggests or requests in the comments, or via Tumblr @thejazthegr8! 
> 
> Happy Holidays! <3


End file.
